Logia Luffy: Pika edition
by Wolvenstrom
Summary: The second in the 'Logia Luffy' series. This time it's not just Luffy had a fruit with a lighter taste to it, and for those of you who said that Yami edition isn't original enough. How's this? Rated T just to be safe
1. Chapter 1

Logia Luffy: Pika edition

Disclaimer: I don not own One Piece

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Prologue

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Koby wouldn't say that he's accomplished a lot in his young life.

A few years back he had decided to go fishing. He grabbed his fishing rod, tackle and catch box and headed out the door after saying bye to his mother. He'd ambled down to the port hopping to catch the morning fishing vessel. He saw one in particular that looked quite big and from the goofy yet feminine design may have been owned by a young woman.

Boy was he wrong.

He was kept a prisoner by Alvida and unwillingly became cabin boy and personal door mat. Made to clean everything that the other men were too good to clean, cook to feed her ridiculous appetite, polish her shoes and bow and scrape for unwanted approval just before she beat him. His only reward for all these years of forced faithful service was that he got to live another day.

Slowly but surely Koby constructed his escape plan. Collecting spare pieces of wood he'd managed to find, or commender. Alvida didn't notice if a few planks going missing in a fight with a rival just as long as they're was enough to repair her butt ugly ship. Or care what happened to the chests that they'd take as spoils of victory just as long as it was only the chests and not the loot inside that went missing, and they always had spare nails lying about for an emergency

He built his raft discreetly in the middle of the woods on their base island were nobody went. It was ugly, shoddy and looked like it couldn't go 10 feet without sinking, but after so many years of being forced to tell a sea hag that she was one of the three great beauty's of the world he could only come to one conclusion.

10 minutes of freedom were better than a lifetime on this ship.

So he set out under the cover of night. Making sure to sneak away from the ship unnoticed and dragged his ship to the other side of the small island, making sure to avoid the patrols who monitor for any approaching ships. He succeeded! He was free.

He spent the night drifting with the occasional adjustment to his heading, enjoying the long awaited freedom to put much more thought into rowing once out of Alvida's range.

He headed to the nearest island possible. Which fortunately for him had a marine base of all things. Not only did that guarantee his safety from Alvida but he could fulfill his dream of becoming a great marine. One strong enough to take Alvida in.

Then he saw the town.

Treading on egg shells, taxed into poverty and little more than slaves to the local marine Lieutenant commander Axe hand Morgan and his son Helmeppo. These people were forced to pay tribute to the commander less he have the men under him take them away to be executed for not giving money that they need not give. They bowed every time the commanders spoiled son walked down the street, doing whatever he pleased for fear of his dads wrath. It was like him on the pirate ship times a thousand.

He knew he had to do something. The first option was to release that demon swordsman they'd 'arrested' Roronoa Zoro, whose only crime had apparently been saving a little girl from being killed. It was noble he granted, but that guy just looked too plain scary to release. Whats to stop the guy from going berserk and striking him down in a rage?

The second option was just as suicidal. If he could get a hold of one of the marines den den mushi then he could use it to transmit a signal to another base nearby telling them about Morgan. In theory the plan was good, however the problem was that even though the marines clearly didn't like following the blow hard they liked their necks to remain connected to their shoulders, they were to scared to fight him. Not only that but the only den den mushi strong that could have that sort of signal behind it would logically be in Morgans office.

He'd sneaked in past the guards. Not to hard since they looked the other way when he past them, and went into the commanders office on the top floor. The marines who hadn't seen him gulping audibly at the young boys bravery. He started talking about Morgans cruelty when...

***ZING***

The massive Axe blade missed him by a fraction of an inch. Carving a deep scar into the floor in front of him and making him jerk back.

Morgan in all his giant glory looked down on the weak little pink haired boy with nothing short of scathing anger. Holding his Axe hand at the boys face.

"You little bastard! What do you think you were trying to do!" He snarled.

Trembling Koby was still able to get out a few words. "I, I, I s-sent a m-mess-message to an-another b-base. Th-they'll s-sens someo-ne to in-in-investig-gate."

Morgans pupils turned into needle points.

"WHAT!"

His entire operation was based on the fact that he'd cut the town off from the world. The population had went up considerably from merchants and other sailors he'd forced to stay to keep his superiors from finding out his corruption. If they sent someone he'd be ruined.

No matter, he'll just send another call saying a kid broke into his office. Then he'd split this runt from skull to groin. Just grab the den den mushi and, and, and...

"Where is it?" The massive blond looked around the room for his snail phone. Eventually finding it in the arms of the boy

"Give. Me. That. SNAIL!" He growled out.

Koby used his smaller stature to dive through the mans wide stance and run out the door. Followed immediately by the angry Lieutenant.

It was a rather comical race. A small pink haired boy carrying a snail being chased by a man three times his size who was slashing at him every chance he had. Cutting up walls, furniture and even the odd marine.

Finally the chase led them to the execution grounds were Zoro was being held. A whole contingent of Marines following behind their commender. Morgan released a particularly viscous slash at Koby just as he was passing the bound Zoro. It sailed right over Koby and went through the rope holding Zoro's left arm.

"THAT DOES IT! MEN TAKE AIM AND KILL THESE TWO!"

With a 'yes sir' they took hold of their rifles and pointed them at the sword less swordsmen and former cabin boy.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME BOY! I'M THE GREATEST MARINE IN THE EAST BLUE! AXE HAND MORGAN!"

Koby was shivering in fear clutching the snail tight enough to choke it. "It doesn't matter what you do! They'll still send someone to find out the source of my message. You'll be striped of rank and sent to Impel down!"

Morgan snorted. "Stupid punk. Who will be left to convict me when your gone? With you two executed and dumped in the ocean I'll just cover up your tattling and pass it off as my worthless son crying about me punishing him."

He smirked when the boy's eyes opened wide in fear. All that with his life on the line was for nothing.

"FIRE!"

***BBOOMMM!***

Everyone was knocked back at the explosive force of the bullet hitting their targets. Which was strange since they didn't think that bullets exploded on impact.

"Wait a minute. Bullets don't explode!" Gasped Morgan.

See they don't explode.

***ZZIINNGG***

Marines fell to the ground. Holding blistered and burnt hands when beams of light lanced out of the smoke cloud and struck the guns. Destroying their guns and hands all at once.

"Looks like I made it just in time." Said a new voice in the smoke.

The kicked up dust soon fell back to the earth. Revealing something that shocked everyone their.

"V-V-V-..." Koby stuttered "...V-V-V-VICE ADMIRAL GARP!"

That's what many others thought at the sight. However several things were off. He was shorter for a start, by at least a foot or more. Second he was no where near as bulky as the marine hero. Not to say he didn't have a build but this guy looked to be more fit athletic wise opposed to Garp's heavy stature. The most notable difference however was that this guy was SIXTY YEARS YOUNGER! Not to mention his face actually looked like it couldn't grow hair while Garp was known to have a short beard that covered his lower face for as long as he's been in the navy.

So yeah to sum up. Aside from the height, the build, the age and the lack of facial hair you could totally mistake him for Garp.

Yeesh.

The Garp 'look alike' wore a suit like it was casual wear. black pants, a pale orange short sleeved shirt that looked slept in with the top two buttons undone. A blue tie that was worn like someone who had been at the office all day and loosened it but hadn't taken it off for some reason. On his head was a wide brimmed black fedora with a pale orange stripe circling it. His feet lacked socks but were protected by slightly worn leather shoes, and of course on his back worn like a cape was the white jacket with 'justice' written on the back. Signature of marine officers. (1)

"Garp?" He said confused. "Oh you mean grampa. Sorry..."

"...I'm Vice admiral Monkey D Luffy. At your service!"

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(1) A white jacket with epaulette's (those things on the shoulders) with justice written on the back is normally worn by marine officers in One piece with few notable exceptions.

This is the second of my 'Logia Luffy stories. This one combines the theme of Luffy having a different power with the theme of him being a marine. This is for all you who say that Yami edition isn't original enough (whisper: I agree)

So tell me what you think. If anyone thinks I take to long to get the story's out then I'd be more than happy to co-author them with someone, as my only problem is after a few chapters I lose my muse. Or in recent cases find it harder to write without the story becoming flat and uninteresting.

In case your wondering about Luffy's cloths think of Reborn from 'Hit man reborn' combined with the casual suit wearing style of Gomez Addams. If you can think of a better style he could wear them please tell me, but keep in mind he is a vice admiral so a suit is definitely a must, but colour scheme and style are open season.


	2. Chapter two: Prolouge

Logia Luffy: Pika edition

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don not own One Piece. One piece is a creation by Eiichiro Oda and distributed by Shonen jump.

**Important**: **Certain parts of this fic may not appear when I load it up to the site. If parts appear to be missing or page breaks do not appear were they should it is because of this.**

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16 years before the last chapter

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Marineford.

Center of the world. Lady justices very seat of power. It was here that the worlds entire navy power was directed and controlled.

Today the island headquarters was busier than normal. Literally thousands of marines scrambled around the island despite their normally only being hundreds on hand. Preparations were being made for an occasion that only happened once in a blue moon.

Today they would be promoting new admirals.

You had to understand. Admiral was 'not' a position given lightly. The position could be left vacant for months or even years at a time without anyone in the position. Sengoku had left the position vacant for a number of years after his promotion to fleet admiral. Looking over the candidates for the prestigious position carefully. Not leaving anything to chance.

Then the Ohara incident happened.

Two vice admirals. Through dedication to absolute justice and raw power had succeeded in one of the greatest military actions ever undertaken since the time of gold roger.

Thus Vice admiral Kuzan became Admiral Aokiji. The blue pheasant, And vice admiral Sakazuki became admiral Akainu, the red dog.

Of course at the time only one admiral had possessed the power of a devil fruit. Sakazuki had shown loyalty and an unwavering belief in absolute justice like no one had ever seen. This made him the perfect example for all other marines to follow. However to truly be fit for the position of admiral one needed to be powerful. To be able to take on the most dangerous criminals in the world all by themselves rather than have lower ranks do it for them.

Luckily it was a priority of the world government to squire devil fruits for the sake of boosting the marines power. One could refuse them like other admirals had done so in the past (Garp). However Sakazuki was the kind of marine who would do anything asked of him without the slightest hint of hesitation. Plus the devil fruit he was to be given was one of exceptional power. Presented to Garp all those years ago if he were to take the position. The fruit was his to eat.

Then with one bite. The red dog was born.

That of course was years ago. Today was an even more historic day. An event which had never happened in the history of the marines.

They're would be a 'third' admiral.

* * *

"The transmissions?"

"We have den den mushi beaming out to the Sabody Archipelago, Enris Lobby, and every other marine base town in the world sir. Even the prisoners in levels 1 to 4 in Impel down are getting a special viewing sir.".

"Attendance?"

"Only 6 vice admirals, and about 60 officers of lower rank have made it sir. And that's including the ones that stay in Marineford. The rest cited that criminals might take advantage of such a mass desertion to attack while they were gone sir."

"True. The number will suffice. This ceremony is little more than a display of our power petty officer Brisbane. It's my hope that this mere broadcast will make criminals renounce their ways, and inspire a new generation to follow the path of absolute justice."

"*Sniff* Yes Fleet admiral!" The young man said holding back passionate tears.

Sengoku the Buddha nodded. Stopping in front of a large double door and dismissing the petty officer to take care of other duty.

Opening them up he was greeted by a sight infinity more relieving than that of the shinchibukai. Vice admirals circled the table. Each turning to face their superior with the exception of two who were preoccupied at the moment.

Sengoku cleared his throat and addressed his fellow admirals.

"Does everyone understand their roles in today's ceremony?" Asked the supreme commander.

Momonga was the first to respond. "Yes fleet admiral. Our part in the ceremony is both simple yet extremely important..."

Komir continued "...We are to escort Borsalino through the ceremony room until we reach you at the far end before moving to either side of the front of the officers in attendance..."

"...All of us are play a part in the ceremony for the sole hope that it instils fear of us in the hearts of pirates, and inspires the people in the hopes that they join are numbers..." Said Strawberry.

"...Who's a sweet little baby. You are. Yes you are. Ahbababababa."

Sengoku grimaced, as did most of the other admirals. They would expect such nonsense from Garp, not from the one who was currently babbling like an idiot.

"Tsuru please! Don't coddle my grandson. How is he supposed to grow into a man with you treating him like this!" Garp growled angrily while trying to reach around the old woman to take him grandson back.

Tsuru pulled one hand away from the boy she was holding and grabbed one of Garp's outstretched hands. With practiced eased she bend his fingers back, which magically went limp and rolled back like cloth. Rolling his arm up to to elbow she aimed at his chest, making the hero of the marines fall back into his chair when his entire mid section took on the consistency of his suit.

The old woman turned back to the infant she was holding and resumed her baby talk and tickling much to the year old Luffy's delight.

"Tsuru! Garp! Would you please stop playing with that baby for two seconds and focus. This is enormously important." Snapped Sengoku.

If the woman heard him she didn't look it "Calm down Sengoku-chan." Chided the old admiral gently. "I went through it for Kuzan, Sakazuki, you and many other admirals since long before you were even an ensign. I know what to do."

Sengoku wouldn't back down "Still. You and Garp will be part of this affair and it won't do for you to be carrying an infant for the whole world to see."

Yamakaji smiled "Yeah people might think he's yours and Garp's grandson or something HA HA URK!" The cigar smoking vice admiral was downed by a shigan from Garp's now de-clothed arm. The hero grumbling something about old biddies quiet enough to not be heard.

Tsuru sighed but smiled down at Luffy who was still giggling away in a manner that would make an adult seem insane. "I know. I know. I'll hand him over to a recruit before it starts. But my own great grand children are all grown now and I haven't held a darling this sweet in over 50 years." She rubbed her nose against Luffy's making him squeal in delight.

No one, not even Sengoku knew how old this woman was, and none of then had the courage to find out.

The gull hatted man coughed nervously and turned to Garp. "And what of you? Bringing the son of 'Him' to Marineford?"

Garp snorted and crossed his arms. "I didn't have a choice alright. My idiot of a son left as soon as he was conceived and my daughter in law ain't been fit enough to take care of even herself since the birth. I'm not gonna leave my grand son to be raised by a village when I can make sure he grows into a marine by bringing him here."

The other admirals looked between the hero and the Buddha. Clearly not understanding more than half the conversation. Sengoku begrudgingly agreed with Garp's point. The last thing the world needs is another Dragon.

"DING! DONG! DING! DONG!"

Sengoku was pulled from his thoughts, lifting his den den mushi and pressing down on the shell to stop the alarm. He looked around the room as the other admirals nodded. Each standing up at the same time to leave the room. Tsuru looked at Sengoku before glancing down at Luffy then back up to him. Understanding her dilemma he pulled out another den den mushi, mildly annoyed that he had to carry so many slimy insects with him since they each only did one thing he put out a call for a recruit to come to the admiral meeting room immediately.

Within seconds a young lady in a marine recruit uniform bumbled in, literally as the door flew open and she fell face first in front of the highest ranked marine before standing up in front of him and saluting. She was young, only about 13 or so and looked like she would be quite the looker when she finished growing, she had blonde hair done up in a bun and hidden under her cap and most notably was sporting several bandages and plasters over her arms and face.

"Marine recruit Hina reporting for duty sir!" She said enthusiastically.

Sengoku stared at the overly eager young recruit for a second before speaking. "Yes...I have an assignment that needs taking care of young lady, and..."

"Yes sir!" The teen cut him off "No doubt you've noticed Hina and have decided to give her a super important mission to benefit the world!"

A tad on the freaked out side he spoke again "No. I need you to do something very important while the admiral promotion ceremony is going on."

"Yes sir! Hina understands! She is willing to risk life and limb in the name of justice sir. The bandages adorning 80 percent of Hina's body are a testament to her willingness and not because her hyper activity and clumsiness induced by growth spurts sir!" She said with her ever present smile.

Tsuru clutched the baby just a little bit more. Luffy was enjoying watching the silly girl to much to moan in complaint.

Sengoku actually smiled a little at the girls energy. It reminded him of himself a little when he was a recruit. So eager to prove himself, but maybe a little less annoying. "Nothing no serious. Tsuru if you would."

The elderly officer shuffled over to the girl and showed her Luffy, who was captivated by the new face just as the girl was captivated by the baby. "I need you to keep an eye on Luffy here until the ceremony is over. Can you do that."

Now it was the blondes turn to look oddly at someone. "Hina can." She said uncertainly. "But Hina doesn't understand why Vice Admiral Tsuru has a baby in the first place. Or why she was just called here to babysit. Is it because Hina is a girl! Because if it is then..."

"It's Garp's grandson." Said the gull hatted man hoping to leave quickly and knowing just the right buttons to push to get the expected reaction.

True to prediction the girls devolving anger quickly became awe. "The grandson of the legendary hero of the marines." She said in barely a whisper. Taking the tyke from Tsuru's unwilling arms and holding him with reverence "It is more than Hina's duty. It is her HONOR to take care of him for the time being."

Sengoku nodded and nudged Tsuru's shoulder. Taking the ancient woman's attention away from Luffy who seemed to be enjoying his new friends presence. The woman sighed but nodded. The fleet admiral left the room followed shortly by Tsuru who gave the two one last looked before leaving.

"It;s ok Vice Admiral Tsuru! You can trust Hina!"

Tsuru looked at the girl for an instant more before leaving, closing the door behind her.

Now to carry out her mission. If she remembered right baby's like milk, they had to have left a bag around here somewhere.

"Sit tight for a second grandson of the hero, Hina needs to find you food." She placed the baby on the spacious table, hoping to find a baby bag holding all his essentials. She looked around the room, around the table and even under it. Only to find nothing.

"Boy for such a legendary man he doesn't even know the basics of infant care." Hina whispered as though saying something bad about Garp was the worst thing she could do. "Well Luffy well have to go to the kitchhhEEEEAAAAGGHHHHHHH!"

The baby was gone! It was no longer in the space in which she had placed him! The place where he'd been and the place he was were no longer the same location! She'd heard people say "Just taken my eyes of 'etc' for a second" but this was ridiculous

"WWAAHH!" Not Luffy by the way. "HINA'S GOING TO THE BRIG FOR THIS!" She searched the entire room. Throwing the priceless antiquated table over and breaking it when it came back down. Toppling and smashing anything she could see to find the precious bundle.

Never did she notice the small opening in the glass doors that led out to a spacious balcony.

* * *

Luffy was hungry.

He'd found the weird talking girl to be funny and all but food was his main concern at the moment, and like his family he didn't like to wait for his food. Seeing as she didn't have any food he decided to venture out and find his own.

The tiny figure in the red romper suit crawled out onto the spacious balcony overlooking a great deal of marine headquarters. One he could look at through the gap between the marble columns of the guard rail.

A pretty view was not edible however. Therefor not worth his interest.

That delightful smell was.

He quickly crawled towards the direction the smell was coming from. If anyone were watching him at the time they would swear they heard a music box sort of tune play in the background. They'd be paralyzed by the sheer adorableness of the site.

He crawled up to a door, the smell was coming from through it, and for the life of him he didn't know how to get through. He was about to cry which would have alerted someone to his presence, had the door not flung itself open a moment before he could.

A marine came running out the door, his face panicked and covered in sweat. If he knew Luffy was there he didn't show it. Believing the officers to still be there he headed frantically towards the room the infant had just left and leaving him a door to crawl through.

He continued to make his way down the hall. Other marines to preoccupied to notice a brightly dressed infant crawling slowly down the middle of the stark white halls and babbling incoherently. Finally he came to a spacious double door where the smell was emanating from. The marine base being so large that every few floors had it's own kitchen. He sat back on his rear and waited for another funny person to let him in. Not expecting someone to rush up behind him with a dinner cart, the low bottom shelf scooping him up rather than running him over.

"Here you are chef Bourguignon." A lowly kitchen assistant said with his head lowered towards the seven foot man in the tall white hat.

"Excellent." He said in an deep french accent. Turning to face the rest of the kitchen staff he addressed them loud and clear. "Everyone! The item has arrived."

The silence was deafening. Of course their was silence before he spoke to them. Not a single one was charged with cooking today as the entire staff was dedicated to this single task.

"My loyal nakama! Today we embark on what may perhaps be the defining moment of my, no ALL of our careers. With this single seemingly impossible task we shall become known world wide and become the stuff of culinary legends..."

His assistants started growing misty eyed. One snorted loudly.

"...These legends will be determined by how much HEART and SOUL we pour into this task. If we fail we will become DOGS! Unworthy to cook for even the slaves of the noble..."

A collective shudder.

"...But should we succeed. Ho ho my friends, we shall eclipse the legendary all blue with our glory. For today we shall..."

He grabs the lid of the disk on the cart and pulls it off.

"...MAKE A DEVIL FRUIT TASTE GOOD!"

A collective gasp this time. One man fainted.

"It can't be done chef!" One man said in despair.

"I should know. Mine tasted like burnt rotten eggs and curdled milk." Said another with cat ears pointing out of his little hat.

As the hysteria reached it's peak Bourguignon slammed his palms down on the nearby table. Effectively silencing them again.

"Nothing is impossible! We shall turn this disgusting fruit into a meal fit for The Gorosei or die trying!" He said with much fire in his voice.

"But what about the taste? Just because Burke's tasted like eggs and milk doesn't mean this will. Admiral Akainu said it was like swallowed congealed hot sauce. And as for Aokiji he compared it to a brain freeze from drinking ice cold squid ink. And we can't exactly taste it without it losing it's power." Pointed out another chef.

Bourguignon wagged his finger and twirled his stereotypical pointy mustache. "We won't have to my young friend. Think carefully. A hot taste for a fruit that looked like a pepper. A cold taste for one that resembled a winter vegetable. Why these tastes seem to be nothing more than extremes of the normal. So this fruit..." He said pointing to the swirl covered lemon shaped fruit.

It took the cook in question only a few seconds to come up with an answer. "We need something to cover a horribly sour taste."

"Exactly!"

As the men and women rushed about the kitchen to prepare this one dish Luffy was listening to all the sounds on the other side of the cloth separating him from a line of adult vision. Not at all scared by the loud noises as a normal baby should be as he had Garp for a grandfather. Instead he was following the other most basic instinct besides fear. That being hunger. He went to move the cloth out of the way when the cart was jostled again, sending him onto his back.

The kitchen staff were reduced to little more than a blur of motion, each taking their turn with the main ingredient and at Soru level speeds had added their own touch to the nasty fruit. Adding spices, segmenting it, mashing segments in with other fruit, other pieces were covered in so much rich sauce that the spoons that stirred it dissolved. The cart whirled about the room to each cook, ensuring that they would get equal time with it without all reaching for it at once.

In the span of but 5 minutes the cart which had formally held but a single lemon shaped fruit now held 6 noveu dishes. Each looking like they wouldn't feed a sparrow and containing but one bite of fruit, however as long as no piece was actually eaten then a devil fruit could be diced as thin as potato chips and still have all it's power waiting to be released.

Bourguignon looked over each meal with a critical eye. It would be meaningless to send 6 dishes to the ceremony area. When one bite was all that was needed, no he needed to pick the one meal that wouldn't leave the new admiral retching in front of the entire world and showing even a sliver of weakness.

He judged them by appearance, ingredients save for the main one and most importantly smell. Before deciding on one that had the fruit placed center on a plate surrounded by concentric rings of thick mango, lychee and raspberry sauces, with fine white and almost black chocolate powder sprinkled over it.

'I feel like I'm turning diabetic from looking at this.'

"This one." He declared. Causing everyone save for one very happy cook to go kneel in a corner.

Bourguignon stomped over to the cook. Towering over him enough that the young man was eye level with his 8 pack.

"What you do today will change the world of fine dining forever. You will be a hero!" He bellowed loudly."

Tears of joy appeared in the cooks eyes.

"And if you fail you'll be sent to the lowest level of Impel down for making the marines look foolish after all my boasting." Bourguignon said casually.

Tears of a different kind appeared in the cooks eyes. Going numb and only vaguely being aware of the massive hands pushing him in front of the cart and the other guy away from it.

"GO! YOURE DESTINY AWAITS!" The head chef with tears in his eyes. Waving the young man off to glory and perhaps certain doom.

Beneath the cart a certain baby was starting to feel the effects of being pushed around at lightning speed. He was fortunate that his little stomach was empty right now. Something which he hoped soon to rectify with the fruity smelling thing above him.

The young cook ran down the hallways as fast as he could, the tray rattling a little with every step. Needless to say he was a little nervous about the whole affair. Of course murphy's law states that when someone is in a rush to get anywhere...

***CRASH***

The tray went flying into the air to land several feet ahead of the cart, fortunately the meal inside was held in place by the exceptionally thick fruit sauce so not a drop was moved out of place. Luffy was also sent away from the cart, only instead of flying through the air to land with a loud clatter he slid out and went sailing across the floor on his rump thanks to his romper suit, his expression one of quiet confusion until he found himself at a stop in front of the source of the fruity smell then his lips widened into a happy grin.

He lifted the silver top over the meal rather clumsily before clambering under it, dropping the platter after he was completely under it.

The young cook rubbed his head and got up. Apologizing profusely to the marine he had ran into before picking up the platter and putting it back on the cart. Urgency overriding any thought which may have left him wondering why the food suddenly became so heavy.

* * *

The ceremony hall of Marineford was not often used. It was barely even entered. Janitors and other cleaning staff could still be seen dotted about amongst the crowds of marines scrubbing those last few inch's of floor or polishing the marble enough to be seen in.

The hall wasn't that big either. Oh sure it was impressive as hell but it was no bigger than a high school assembly hall. Intricately carvings in the walls depicting the marines near millennial of bringing peace and justice to the world. White marble columns lining a staircase that lead up to a platform with a pedestal on it. The pedestal had a marble dress dummy on it adorned with a jacket only a strict few are ever permuted to wear. The 'near' identical but not quite the same as lower ranked marine' admiral overcoat, symbolizing one of the three navy powers status.

At the bottom of the staircase everyone from vice admiral to lieutenant major was filing in. Lining up on either side of the room in order of rank as a brilliant red carpet was rolled down the middle.

"Damn this is annoying." Moaned Garp while standing in the hall waiting for the progression with Borlasino. "I could be 'training' some new recruits right now. Instead I gotta be part of this damn ceremony for that lazy ass!"

Tsuru rolled her eyes. "Well if you hadn't rejected it the numerous times they asked then you wouldn't have to go through this now would you?"

"Damn old bat." Garp mumbled under his breath. To which Tsuru responded with a clip around the ear.

Some after the marines finished entering the room a few news crews soon followed. Carrying what looked like animal cages with then. The scattered to the rooms corners were they opened the cages and lifted out large snails. They stuck the bugs to the sides of the walls and pointed to near the room ceiling as if the creatures would understand. The snails slithered up the wall at a speed betraying their species and stopped in the positions they were instructed to, gazing out into the room while their carriers fiddled with some televisions sets until a picture came through, giving the signal to the signal that they were up and running the hall suddenly became deathly quiet.

The large double doors opened up and two ensigns entered, flanking a man who looked like he just got up, looked at his clock and decided to go back to sleep until someone dragged him out of it by his heel. He wore a pale yellow suit with the shirt untucked and the suit jacket only partially buttoned. He yawned loudly and scratched at the three days of stubble on his face then rubbed his eyes under his sunglasses.

Several of the admirals were understandably upset that the guy who looked like he made a living selling things out of a cart in a back alley possibly be considered their superior. They just bit into their tongues and looked forward.

The progression up the carpet was slow and not just because Borlasino dragged his feet. The den den mushis capturing every movement.

At the top of the stairs stood Akainu, Aokiji and Sengoku with Sengoku standing just off the center of the upper platform. Sengoku was trying very hard not to suddenly yell out for the soon to be full admiral to hurry up, Akainu was not so tactful and groaned loudly and glared at the lazy man. When he finally got to the stairs the vice admirals separated to either side of the room leaving the soon to be Kizaru to trudge up the stairs.

The camera snails entire attention were locked onto the lethargic man as part of the ceremony, even if they'd heard it they couldn't take their eyes off him to see a young girl enter just before the doors were closed and quickly but silently make her way up past the officers.

Garp had his entire attention focused on what was in front of him, but thanks to years of training was able to reflexively reach out and put a hand over the girl behind hims mouth. He turned his head just enough to address her without looking like he wasn't watching the proceedings.

"What is it?" He said in an quiet a manner as someone like him could manage.

"Um..." She was unsure how to put this. "Garp sir. Hina, Uh I mean me was tasked with looking after your grandson and..."

"You lost him." His voice more tired than angry.

Hina let out a sound so pitiful it made a puppy's whine sound like Moria's laugh.

The hero took a deep breath. Knowing he was going to regret this immensely he broke file and pulled the young girl to the side of the room, not even looking back at Sengoku who was giving him a death glare behind his glasses while using the rooms lighting to hide it in reflection.

As soon as the immense door clicked behind him Garp lifted his hand away from Hina's mouth, only to clamp it back on an instant later when the girl was ready to let out the mother of all mournful wails.

'I'm going to skin him and use his leathery hide to make a suite!'

For all appearances you never would guess that was what Sengoku the Buddha was thinking right now. His expression was that of pride and trust, a look that would have anyone believe anything he said no matter what that may be. When in fact he was putting 90 percent of his mind towards thoughts of killing his long time friend in the worst possible ways.

Of course with the world quite literally watching his every action he couldn't act on anything right now. So with a resolve like his epitaph implied he continued with the proceedings.

Borsalino made his way round the table to stand next to his superior officer, still as relaxed and affluent as ever. Behind him was the coat and in front of him a table were his powers would soon be.

The gull hatted man coughed a little to clear his throat then spoke in as loud and dignified a voice as he could manage.

"Justice! A single word, yet this single word carries the weight of the entire world! And as marines it is our never ending duty to lend ourselves to shoulder to this mighty burden..."

A door opens up at the top of the stairs. The young cook walks in, his hands at either side of the platter. He slowly makes his way down all the while trying not to look like the dish edge was cutting into his skin.

"...and at times one emerges who takes it upon themselves to willingly take more of this burden than others. Now one man of such character has been brought forth..."

With a 'thud' the platter was placed on the table, the cook rushing away from the scene but staying close enough to witness the fruits of his labor.

Sengoku turned to Borsalino. "Vice admiral Borsalino. For more than 2 decades you have been a marine, and in those twenty plus years you have succeeded in the captured no less than 10,000 criminals, ended more than 100 pirate crews single handedly, and aided in the capture of more than 30,000 criminals. Your actions were rewarded again and again until you achieved your current rank."

"No proooooblem." The banana striped man said, waving his commanding officers words off. Aokiji just rolled his eyes a little While Akainu was noticeably smoldering.

"Now, in what has never been done in the history of the marines we welcome you as the third admiral!"

That signaled the two current admirals parts in this little drama. They moved in sync, taking the coat from the dummy to move behind Borsalino. Aokiji pulled the old one from his back were it was then taken away by a nearby ensign who scuttled off with it.

"With the adornment of this coat you will no longer be Vice admiral Borsalino. Taking this upon your back will signify your utter dedication to justice! You will no longer be regarded as a man but as a power unto itself whose soul purpose is eliminating evil! Your identity and your very name shall be stripped from you, never to be uttered by another soul again! Do you accept?"

The vice admiral shrugged "Suuurrree."

Fortunate that the man was wearing a hat that hid his twitching brow. He nodded towards the other admirals who draped the jacket over his shoulders. Completing his overblown promotion.

"Then farewell vice admiral Borsalino. And let the world welcome Admiral Kizaru!" He swept his arm out towards the assembled officers, queing them to start cheering their brains out.

"Now..." He started again causing the marines to quiet down again "What is a powerful man without a powerful ability?" He pointed to the platter "Underneath this silver cover is a source of power like no other. The logia devil fruit!"

He waited a second for that to sink in then continued "We scoured the world in search of a fruit that would gift this man with power worthy of his station. Upon eating this accursed fruit he will be gifted with strength enough to shape the very face of the world!"

He grabbed the handle "Kizaru. Eat this and gain the power to uphold justice!" With a small flourish he pulled the lid away.

"...are you sick in the heeeeeead?"

A vein bulged under Sengoku's gull hat. "THATS IT! WHY ARE YOU SO Difi...cul...t."

The room went from regular silence to creepy silence, the kind that unlike regular silence no one wanted broken.

In place of what should be an attempt at turning something that tastes like death into a delicacy was something that could only be considered the same if you were that brat prince on drum island. A baby that looked remarkably like a certain pain in the fleet admirals backside looked up at him, smiling back at the man that sweet and innocent way baby's do, covered from head to toe in sugary sauce most of which was around his mouth.

***THUD***

The cook hit the floor.

Tsuru ran up the stairs and swept the little boy up.

"Luffy-chan how did you get under there?" He said to the boy while trying to wipe away the sauce with a handkerchief.

Everyone else was left looking at a plate licked clean.

Sengoku and the rest stared at the plate for what felt like forever before the man put the lid down, took off his glasses, wiped them to remove imaginary dist and put them back on. He turned about, looked straight at a den den mushi and took a deep breath.

* * *

Garp and Hina searched the room meticulously along with several other men and women they had found along the way. Branching out and going every which way over the base to find his grandson.

Hina was in tears "This is a disaster! Hina's first *hic* mission from the fleet admiral and she messed it up! She lost Garp *hic* the heroes grandson! HINAS A LOUSY MARINE!"

Garp patted the girl back gently (from his perspective, from hers it was like being hit by a club repeatedly) and smiled "There there girl. We all make mistakes."

She looked up at the idol of anyone whose ever worn white for the past 30 years "Bu-bu..."

"Listen. All of my family's like this. Heck one time when Luffy's father was two he got lost and I found him on the next island a week later no worse for ware! Knowing my genes he'll turn up in the one place we never would have thought."

"GGGGGAAAAARRRRRPPPPP!"

The entire room shook as a massive wave of Houshoku Haki washed over Marineford. Bringing hundreds of men to their knees. Garp shivered violently but still managed to catch the girl he had been talking to and keep her conscious.

"What...what was that?" Hina stammered. Her tears gone in the face of pure fear.

Garp groaned "What else? Irony and an ass kicking."

* * *

End chapter two.

Not my best work I know, but it's short, sweet and it explains how Luffy came across his powers. Before anyone starts about how Kizaru had his powers ages before Luffy was born remember that this isn't canon, it doesn't have to be a hundred percent accurate. The same goes for the meeting room leading out into a walkway.

By the end of it I just wanted it done. I gave myself a schedule, but unfortunately I was kicked out of the room with the computer in it for a few days leaving last night and today to finish so sorry if it looks rushed.

Other than that enjoy.

Bourguignon is a french style meal were braised beef is served in red wine. For those of you confused by the chefs name.

I came up with the idea of making fruits shape, colour and taste somewhat resemble the powers they give. Naturally this couldn't be true for all fruits but hey this will barely be mentioned. The guy with cat ears tasted milk because he ate a Zoan cat type and since cats drink milk...you get the idea.

Ok now onto something your all probably saying. You can't cut up a devil fruit! Well in this story you can. You can turn it into a juice for all that matters, so long as no one eats the fruit you can do anything to it without it losing it's power. The chef was able to judge the dish on smell because most tasting is actually based on smell.

Hope you enjoy. Feel free to critique as long as it's constructive.


	3. Chapter 3

Logia Luffy: Pika edition

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don not own One Piece. One piece is a creation by Eiichiro Oda and distributed by Shonen jump.

* * *

"I'M BORED!"

It had always bugged Zoro. It seemed to be some sort of unwritten law of the world that 'power' went hand in hand with 'insanity'. The weaker, normal people tended to stay fairly uninteresting for the most part except of course for the rare few. Strong people by contrast almost all had some glaring personality flaw that made it all but impossible to take them seriously. Unless of course that flaw was that they were sadistic psychos who considered other people as disposable as one of those cheap throwaway cameras you get so you don't have to worry if it's stolen, at which time you should take them very seriously.

The Monkey line in particular was a prime example of this theory. Both Garp and Luffy were revered for their strength, and were also known to be bat sh%t insane and annoying as hell. Both of them having endless appitites, overabundent energy and an impossibly small attention span which required them to be almost constantly stimulated.

This made boat trips hell to be on if either was on your ship. Zoro learned that the hard way.

He closed his eyes as tightly as he could. Trying to focus on his swinging and ignoring the marine bouncing around like a luminous superball.

"I'M BORED!"

Zoro groaned turning to a nearby marine on the ship who was fairing much better "Is he always like this?"

The marine nodded sagely, pulling out two small orange plugs from his pocket and handing it to the swordsman who quickly snatched them up. Sighing in relief at the chattering died down.

Luffy meanwhile was quite obviously as jumpy as his name sake. He 'hated' traveling by boat. For one who could travel at the speed of light anything that took even the smallest period to wait for wasn't worth his time of day.

He'd been in the East Blue on big...goverment type buisness that he'd not really been paying attention to when he heard an incoming distress call from the last island. If it had been anyone else it would have taken a few hours to reach it and by then the emergency may be over, but for him it took only a handful of seconds...plus the few minutes for that bases commander screaming at him were exactly this other base was, navigating is the navcigators job not his. He hit stuff.

Like Krieg and his son who were currently behind bars below deck.

* * *

Flashback

* * *

"DIE!"

***VOOM***

"DIE!"

***VOOM***

"DIE OBVIOUSLY!"

***VOOM*** ***VOOM*** ***VOOMITY*** ***VOOM***

Luffy stood perfectly still with his arms crossed. Bord as a fan of Hellsing watching Twilight as Morgans determination to bisect him in every which way. Which had grown tedious after 5 minutes. Each strike which could kill a giant if aimed right passed harmlessly through the young officers energy based form.

The other marines, this idiots son as well as the two behind him had summed up the outcomes exactly four minutes and fifty three seconds ago. With only one not loking happy.

He yawned loudly despite Morgan cutting into his neck hard enough to go through a nomal person effortlessly. "You done?" He asked lazily.

***VOOM***

Apparetnly he wasn't.

Luffy on the other hand.

"DIE!"

"Flash bullet."

Morgans axe came down just as Luffy casually raised his finger toward the axe, it glowed slightly before a ball of light the size of a marble blasted forth and struck the blade.

***BANG***

The steel axe which was Morgans namesake exploded into a hundred tiny shards, none of which hit anyone except their former owner who was peppered with them. Saved only because he was so enormously muscular.

The blast sent the man flying past his men and crashing into the stone walls, leaving a cracked outline that held form for only a moment before crumbling on top of him.

Silence hung heavy in the execution yard for a moment. Nameless soldiers blinking slowly as though they were staring at the dawn sun after months of dark. They gazed between Luffy and the pile of rubble covering their commanding officer.

"You...beat Leitenant Morgan." One breathed out. His gun almost slipping from his fingers before catching it.

Luffy didn't smile "Yeah right. Guy didn't even put up a good fight."

The facts filtered into their brains, forcing the way through the years of abuse and terror their superior had inflicted upon them which made them believe it impossible. Sending of fireworks in their minds.

"It's over...it's...it's finally over. He he IT OVER! MORGAN IS FINISHED!"

Every man threw their loaded guns to the ground, not caring if they discharged. Cheers rose up loud enough to echo over the entire village, the entire island! Fists pumped, men hugged and laughed and cried. Not one tear on their faces shed out of sorrow.

Luffy grinned and fixed his hat. He turned to the two behind him, Zoro both awed and slightly on edge what with the boy still being a marine and all. He tugged on the brim of his hat and faced Coby.

"So, Which one of you made the call?"

* * *

After properly containing the now 'unarmed' Morgan and taking care of his bawling brat Luffy had been debriefed by the now acting base commander Ripper. It would be needless to say that Morgan would be spending quite a bit of time in the great gaoul. Helmeppo who although could not be charged with abuse of power as he wasn't an officer was still sharing in his fathers punishment. The towns folk wanted turns with the whimpering heap which Luffy was willing to let them have. It was Coby who had the idea of having the boy make up for his fathers misdeeds, so starting that day helmet head Helmeppo was officialy made part of the Marines as a chore boy.

Followed by Zoro and Coby.

* * *

Flashback numero dos

* * *

"WHAT!"

"D-Do you mean it!"

Luffy smiled at the the two in front of him as he sat on the acting base commanders desk much to the mans annoyance, dangling his legs and kicking the wood like a child. He'd just told the two of their enlistment into the forces of justice. Coby was understandably on cloud nine, and Zoro was understandlably pissed.

The swordsmen unsheathed Wado and pointed it right at the boy. Temorarily forgetting Morgans own lack of success. "Who do you think you are!"

The vice admiral seemed not to notice the anger since his answer seemed to be for Coby. "Sure do. I figure anyone who has the guts to stand up to a creep like Morgan 'needs' to be a marine."

The rest of what Luffy said was drowned out by the angelic song filling his ears, he was finally starting on his dream of being a marine admiral. If he'd been able to hear anything but divine music at the moment the next few words from Luffys mouth such as 'training' and 'grampa' then he'd be hearing something entirely different altogether.

Zoro didn't want to hear it. He lowered his freinds sword and headed for the door "Well you can forget it. I have a goal to accomplish. Working for the goverment will only hamper me."

Luffy childishly pouted but nodded "Fine."

The moss haired man nodded and opened the door, only to be greeted by two armed marines pointing rifles between his eyes and his heart.

"What the!"

"Take him away men!" Ripper ordered the two, who grabbed Zoros wrists and were immediatly thrown into opposite walls with increible force.

"What is this!"

Luffy held up his hands with three fingers extended while Ripper spoke "Assaulting civilians, two counts of assaulting marines and now resisting arrest." Luffy whistled. "We've got enough to put you away for at least a few years."

Zoro sputtered when he felt another barrel pressed against the back of his head. Luffy slid off the table past the still dreaming pink haired boy.

"Helmeppo before his drafting was technically a civilian, by slicing up his pet that counts as assault, when they tried to arrest you the first time you attacked a few good men before coming back to the base."

"And resisting arrest?" Zoro said bitterly.

The vice admiral grinned "Just now when you threw those two off."

He ignored the glare and continued "So heres the deal. You join the marines and your slate is wiped clean. Or we fit you with black and white pajamas."

"So whats your answer?"

* * *

Flashback end

* * *

It wasn't so bad be supposed. They still let him keep his swords, and he was given a rank that didn't have him racing around with a mop like the other two new marines. In fact Luffy seemed quite insistant that he have a rank that fitted with his already existing fame.

From bounty hunter to junior leiutenant in one day was a hell of an advance.

He'd also made it quite clear that he still had every intention of being the greatest swordsman in the world. Luffy laughed like he did at almost everything, telling the santoryu user that having the number one swordsman as a marine instead of a former pirate would be great for everyone. He then said that he could introduce him to Mihawk one day . If he ever bothered to show up for a shinchibukai meeting that is.

Say what you want about how smart he is, but Monkey D Luffy had an almost instinctive ability to say just what needed to be said to get the effect he desired.

* * *

Meanwhile. In another little town in the east blue, one without the furtune of a marine base a lone figure stalked the back alleys. Drawing closer and closer towards a building filled with singing and other merryment.

The map was in there. No doubt about it.

* * *

End chapter 3

* * *

Not a very big chapter I know, but it's not supposed to be. This story is meant to be much easier for me to write than the ever growing yami edition whose every chapter only gets longer.

Hope you enjoy and remember I only accept criticism if it's constructive.


	4. Chapter 4

Logia Luffy: Pika edition

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. One piece is a creation by Eiichiro Oda and distributed by Shonen jump.

* * *

I forgot to mention something last time. While it is true that the stronger a person is the more insane they are, they're are also other just as relevant ratios that must be applied.

Point 2) Food comsumption is directly proportional to intelligence and or temper.

* * *

_-Example 1-_

"MORE!"

"Bu-but captain. Youve already eaten through half the ships pantry

***Bang***

"MORE!"

"AYE CAP'N!"

_-Example 2-_

"Is that all your having sir? Youve barely touched your food."

"It's alright. Justice will keep me sustained, give the rest to the men. They need it more than I."

"*Sniff* Yes sir."

* * *

Point 3) The higher the odds are against you the more likely you are to win.

* * *

"Whats that tiny? You think a runt like you can take on a whole 20 giants like us? HA HA HA HA! YOUR JOKING!"

"I assure you I never joke. Now prepare yourself." he drew his weapon.

The giant grinned "Suit yourself. "DIE HUMAN!" The massive beings club swung down

"My 'name' is Mihawk."

* * *

Then we come to our relevent point number 4) The more ridiculous and sadistic the training the bigger the pay off.

Case in point is the newly minted Jr Lieutenant Roronoa Zoro whose currently swinging a practice sword on deck while others kept a clear distance away from him. No sense getting hit by accident. Especially when the sword has a few tons worth of weight loaded onto it and it's being moved about like it ways as much as cotton candy.

"LIEUTENENT! TO ATTENTION!" An official sounding voice bellowed behind him. It went unheaded of course since it hadn't been that long since he'd actually became a marine and expected the voice to be yelling at someone else. It wasn't until a sword swiped through the air where he had been that Zoro began to suspect that they were talking to him.

"I SAID ATTENTION SEAMAN!"The man growled before turning to face 'you' and glared.

"Don't even snicker." He threatened, turning back to Zoro.

"When I say attention Roronoa I mean it." He said evenly, the anger bleeding from him.

The swordsman debated whether he should answer with his mouth or his steel. He wisely choose the latter "Sorry. I'm still not used to marine life."

The officer stared through him, he drew up to Zoro so his face was inches from the new marines "Good. Don't."

He pulled back, glancing from side to side to make sure that they were still resonably alone. "Lets get one thing clear you scum sucking low life. You aren't a marine. Your a criminal plain and simple."

The hand brushing Wados sheath itched like crazy "Really? Thats not what the vice admiral said."

The man scoffed "That idiot? Please the only power that boy has are solely from his devil fruit, the truth is that he has no more say outside of the public eye than the chore boys he brought aboard." Seeing Zoros confused expression he continued. "Luffy is a legacy. His grandfather is the greatest hero of the past hundred years, his 'promotion' to vice admiral is nothing more than a ploy to impress the public"

"So he's not really so high ranked." It wasn't a question.

"Well officially he is. But he doesn't have all of the privilages an officer has. His every decision is reviewed by those who earned their position on merit. He didn't have the authority to exorerate any of you of your charges in the first place."

"But you do." He correctly guessed.

The man grinned "Indeed. I am vice admiral Momonga. The real man who gets to decide if the three of you get to continue enjoying the world above the sea." Anyone worth their salt knew exactly what the mohawk/ mulleted man was implying.

"I'll keep that in mind." Zoro said, returning to his swinging.

Momonga stared at the back of theat mossy head for a few more moments. Certain his little threat had gotten through

* * *

Elsewhere, an older gentlemen stalked through the silent streets. Nothing but a faint breath and a clinking of metal that could be mistaken for dropping coin to give him away.

'We don't need a marine base here I said. This island too quiet for criminals to come I said. Boodle your as senile as they come.'

His beliefs weren't unfounded mind you. Pirates really never came here in the years the town had prospered. It was the most isolated speck of dirt in the East Blue, too much hassle to sail between islands for any of the hot blooded fame hoarders pirates were these days.

Unfortunatly Buggy the clown was a crook before the golden age started. He didn't care for notorioty or glory. He just wanted money and was willing to take the low and long road to get it. Leaving the terrors of the demon sea he settled in the weakest quarter of the world were if he was careful he could pillage and plunder in relative peace for the rest of his life. A town like Boodles was perfect for him.

The people had fled at the first sight of the pirate flag. Not even the local police force was enough to deal with the likes of the clown and his men. They did manage to help get everyone to the shelters on the outskirts. Which they would stay at until Buggy left.

That was a week ago.

Finally Boodle could not stand it anymore and set out on his own. No one would miss one old man even if he was the mayor. He knew he couldn't fight them mano a mano. Fortunatly he didn't have to.

He snuck into his house which had the doors barely hanging to the hinges. They must have thought the mayor would have treasure or some such nonsense. Well it was true to a sense he did have something that was technically valuable in here.

He creeped his way down to the basement, past the also broken door. He knew his home well enough to know wer not to step on the normally creaky floorboards so he could descend without the smallest groan from the wood.

He moved past his preserves, priceless heirlooms and other irreplaceable junk that hadn't been deemed valuable enough to steal, looking out with a keen eye until he spotted the object he was looking for.

He smiled and reached out to pick up the Den den mushi. The animal munching slowly on something in the corner of it;s mouth which he guessed to be some pickled beats judging from the pungent smell of vinegar and red stains around its thick white fu man chu. It was hidden away in a corner where none could find it unless they knew it was there.

The mayor had never been happier for someone to question him than the man who left this with him all those years ago. He lifted the receiver off the old snails shell and did what he had to do.

* * *

"VICE ADMIRAL MOMONGA! VICE ADMIRAL LUFFY! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!" A marine burst through the doors leading from below deck, running over to the older of the two officers while the younger listened in from up on the nearby mast.

"What is it ensign?" The man said curlty. This had better be important.

"We-we just received an S.O.S sir! A nearby island has been taken over by pirates sir!"

The vice admiral reacted swiftly. He turned on his heel and called out to the rest of his men with a tone just under a shout. "Men! Make the preparations!"

If you were expecting a huge explosion of movement then I'm sorry to disipoint you. One or two men ran below deck while the rest continued with whatever they'd ben doing at the time, some even slowed to a more leisurly pace. This confused the hell out of Zoro.

Of course Luffy was as predictable as ever. As soon as his fellow vice admiral gave the order the grinning boy jumped down from the high up mast and landed without as much as a thud in front of him.

"Are you ready Luffy?" Momonga asked.

He nodded energetically "Just point the way."

"Ensign?"

The lower ranked marine produced a map from seemingly nowhere and showed it to his superiors while pointing to one small dot on it. "The distress message originated 27 miles south by south west of this location."

"..."

"That way." Momonga pointed out across the sea.

"Ohhh. Got it." Grinned the boy before he started to dissolve into light. Vanishing before Zoro's astonished eyes.

"What's..."

Momonga brushed past him rudely. Shouting to upper deck to take them in the direction he'd told Luffy. "Whats happening Roronoa, is this crews, this divisions sole purpose."

* * *

Nami ran down main street. Five blood thirsty maniacs chasing after her with swords flashing in front of them. She was far more fleet footed than the circus rejects and from what she could see several years younger. However just because they hadn't realised they could just shot her instead of chase her didn't mean that they eventually would.

"Hey wait. I just remembered we have guns!"

"Yeah. She can't outrun bullets!"

Hey. They weren't allowed to figure that out so soon.

The men in make up pulled out their flintlocks while running after the girl who was gradually putting distance between them. The guns making the ulwlecome 'clicking' sound that everyone whos ever had one pointed at them hates.

They would have shot if a blinding light like a second sun hadn't just appeared out of nowhere.

* * *

"Let me see if I can understand this. Your job, is to do...nothing!" Zoro exclaimed. The crew had lost considerable vigor. Some were actually lazing about in clear view of their superior officer without the slightest hint of worry.

The mullet/ mohawk man scoffed. "Your ability to ignore people is just astonding Roronoa. I didn't say that. Everything has been set up already so the men use this short amount of time to relax. You see our duty is not to do nothing, we simply do not engage in combat."

"That task is solely the responsibility of Garps grandson."

* * *

Nami and the Buggy pirates watched in awe as the blinding light formed into a boy...whose dressed like a MARINE!

"It's Monkey D Luffy!"

"RUN!"

The pirates scrambled for their lives. Just as the vice admiral watched after them. A glowing finger pointed in their direction.

"Flash cannon."

* * *

"This whole division was built up around Monkeys overwhelming ability. Assigning any more men who specialise in combat would have been nothing but a waste of resources."

"So what do you do?" Zoro asked snarkily

Momonga counted to ten before answering. "It is our duty to A) Send the buffoon who lacks the ability to tell north from south in the direction he needs to go. B) Detain all surviving criminals in the numerous prison cells below. And C) Clean up his mess."

"Clean up his mess?"

"*Sigh* You expect him to be subtle?"

* * *

***KA-BOOM***

Nami brought her arms up to shield her eyes from the blinding flash of light and the massive explosion that reduced the men to ash along with a few houses.

While honestly freaked at the power the marine displayed she was eternaly relieved that he had saved her. "Thanks." She muttered out, catching his attention.

"Opps. Missed one."

* * *

"He's like a charging bull. Unbelieveably powerful and unbelievably destructive. His abilities make him quite to action and quick to conclusion. Rarely thinks before he does something..."

* * *

Namis eyes widened in horror at the glowing finger pointing at her. Energy pooling at the tip.

* * *

"...Our duty as the ones who watch after him is to keep his actions under raps." He paused.

"It would not look good for the world to know that the marines are harbouring something a thousand times more destructive than any pirate after all."

* * *

"NO DON'T PLEASE!"

"Flash bullet!"

* * *

End chapter 4

Sorry about any spelling mistakes. My spell check seems to believe that everything I write is spelled correctly, even when I write Marine and muhrane and fish and frikle. Those words aren't being underlined right now. Also several page breaks I placed in the document won't appear on site so I increased the space between where I wanted them.

So anyway thats it for this chapter. Some of you may not like how I'm treating Luffy at the moment but come on, would any of you give him such a position as vice admiral without a boatload of strings attached?

The Flash cannon by the way is simply a powered up flash bullet. Like what Kizaru did with his laser kick.


	5. Chapter 5

Logia Luffy: Pika edition

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don not own One Piece. One piece is a creation by Eiichiro Oda and distributed by Shonen jump.

* * *

"NO DON'T PLEASE!"

"Flash bullet!"

"AAGGHH!" The beautiful thief screamed as the yellow light filled her eyes. The heat scorching her flesh, vaporising her bones.

Every faded to white.

***KA-BOOM!***

* * *

"That was close. You alright lady?"

She stood, frozen like a statue staring out past the young vice admiral. Her eyes felt like raisens and her pupils were like needle points. Her left cheek was red and almost sunburnt from the sheer heat of the energy beam that had just lanced mere centimeters past her head. Behind her was a pile of shattered and scorched concrete where another pirate had been hoping to sneak up while her back was turned.

"Lady? Helllooooo? You there." He snapped his fingers in front of her face. That failing to get a response he brought his hands together for a loud clap. This time making her snap out her trance and fall back onto her rear in surprise..

Luffy smiled, grateful he hadn't scared someone to death...again. "That's a relief."

"AAGGHH!" She screamed. Scampering away on all fours until she hit a house.

"Why are you..."

"AAGGHH!"

"Will you stop..."

"AAGGHH!"

***ZING***

A finger appeared over her lips at the speed of light. Both silencing her and exhibiting her unmatched bladder control.

"You gonna stop screaming?" He asked/ demanded.

She nodded as rapidly as she could while having a finger she'd just seen used to atomize 4 pirates almost up her nose.

"Good." He slowly took the finger away and took a few steps back, casually glancing over the town.

"Man this place is a ghost town. You the only one left."

"..."

"Helllloo." He once more snapped his fingers in her face a few times before her pupils refocused.

"I, uh no. NO! I ah I'm just a visitor here. I came here looking for a few things just to find everyone run out of town by Buggy the clown." She'd better establish her story now, just in case he decides he really does have to kill her. Feeling immensly relived when he seemed to accept her answer.

Standing up to his full unimpressive height he walked away. "I'd leave if I were you. Don't want you caught in the crossfire." Before she could even respond his body dissolved into sparkling fairy dust and vanished into thin air.

Explelling a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in she reached into her 'pocket' and pulled out what she had been willing to risk life and quite possibly limb for.

"Good it didn't tear during the run. Now I just have to decide if getting it was the hard part or not."

* * *

"DIE AN AWESOME DEATH!"

"CAPTAIN DO..."

***BBBOOOMMM!***

The face painted pirate was vapourised instantly in the wake or the heat and power of Buggy the clowns custom made cannon balls.

"Do you have to do that every time captain. We've got barely any left as it is." His second mate commented boredly. Somhow able to speak clearly past the glass and frothy liquid and while juggling knives with as much effort as blinking or 'passing gas' for the polite term.

"THOSE BASTARDS DESERVED IT FOR MAKING ME LOOK STUPID! SO WHAT IF WE LOSE A FEW MEN!" He managed to yell through a massive wall of of his own bull*&^t.

"Actually I meant the buggy balls. We only have two left." Cabaji pointed out. Deflating the giant clown head back to its smaller yet no less bizarre form. The clown crossed his arms and sank into his 'throne'. Mumbling about Cabaji and bomb costs.

"I went through hell to get that map, I gave my left *&% for that map..."

"That wasn't your's captain."

"Well I gave someones left &%^ for it! I did not sacrifice so much of my valuable time just for some big chested broad with goo goo eyes to swipe it!" A collective sigh from several of his men made it to his ears reminding him of exactly who was to blame for the theft. "AND YOU!" He jabbed a finger at one of the guilt men "...WHY AREN'T YOU LOOKING WITH THE REST OF THOSE HORNDOGS!"

"Be-becau-cause yu-you..."

"SHUT UP AND GO!" With one almighty heave he grabbed hold of the mook and tossed him over the side of the two story building, a loud crack emanating from street level a moment later.

Those remaining gave their glorious leader a wide berth while he fumed. "I'm surrounded." He muttered, grumbling loudly when the hand he was trying to drag down his face couldn't move past his big red conk.

"How f*&%ing hard could it be to find a lone girl in a deserted town!"

"I may not be a genius but even I know that sounded stupid."

The veins in the clowns forehead bulged out like worms were crawling just under his skin. "Alright! Whose the dead man who...said...mother."

The face of the guy attached to the body attached to the glowing finger inch's away from his face smiled. "Buh bye big nose."

***ZZIINNGG***

It was only the cocoky one liner that saved Buggy's life. Unlike others he knew he didn't give his opponents time to get in a last jab at him before acting he managed to duck out of the way right before the space where his head had been was filled with hyper concentrated light.

"Hey!" His would be killer said indignantly. "You weren't supposed to move."

"SHOT TO KILL!"

Entirly out of an instinct to follow the captains commands without question the circus themed pirates whipped out their flintlocks and unleashed a normally deadly hail of lead at the stranger.

The light based logia user merely grinned like the idiot he would defend that he wasn't. The metal shots passing through him as though they were only passing through air, leaving only perfect holes which closed up in a glittery sparkle.

Steak nose knew almost immediatly what was going on, his internship as a criminal being spent almost completly in the grand line he had met more than a few of the nigh invincible logia users. A breed of superhuman he had hoped to all but avoid in this sea.

"DON'T LET UP! TURN HIM INTO GORGONZOLA!"

"SWISS!"

"WHATEVER!"

They were clever at least in their shootng strategy. Employing a continous fire strategy where one would shot while the other loaded the poorly conceived weapon. Never once did it filter through to the walnuts on sticks they call grey matter that if bullets were going to work on him then he would have been dead already.

A person can only be shot at for so long before they decide enough is enough. Of course rarly is this brought on because of boredom but nontheless...

"Glimmer wave."

A blade of light lashed out from a flicking forefinger, going from the size of a shaving razor to being as wide as the roof in seconds it sliced through almost every gun pointed at the military prodigy. The pirates not even realising the effect until wood, metal and fingers seperated from whatever they had been connected to at the time.

It was the most horrible sound you could imagine. How many of us can honestly say theyve seen a men, let alone fully grown bloodthirsty killer break down crying like new born babes. Clutching their severed digits and crying out, some for doctors and others for their mothers.

The screams fell on Luffys deaf ears. Ignoring the murderers pleas for help he scanned them. Looking for the one who lead these men to this fate. Only to find he'd buggered off.

Thats when he heard a heavy patter on the cobbles on the street below.

He vanished in a flash of light.

* * *

Reappearing at street level and called out after the retrating pirate "BUGGY!"

The crooked ringmaster stopped mid stride. Frozen like a statue in fear.

Luffy was on him in an instant, his hand glowing with deadly power to finish his enemy off in one attack.

"Fl..."

"WAIT!"

Luffy paused, he peered down at his hand glowing brighter than the sun then back up to the sweating statue. "What?" He asked genuinly confused.

"Isn't it customary for you to try and bring me in first?" He said with an uncharecterisitcly unshaken voice.

"...I don't follow."

'Oh Neptune I'm glad I already went.' "You can't just kill me as soon as you find me. You have to try and arrest me and take me to prison."

"...Oooohhh. Oh yeah. I sometimes forget that part." He smacked the side of his head. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a pair of thick leather gloves, then into a sturdy pouch on his belt and pulled out some blueish grey handcuffs.

Buggy eyed them like a child in a candy shop "Wow! Genuine seastone."

"Yup. Just put these on and you can't use whatever power I heard you have." He opened them up and held them out in front of Buggy expectedly.

The clown looked at the cuffs for a second more before shrugging and raising his arms.

Luffy lowered the cuffs on Buggys wrists when he noticed something. Namely that his wrists were not there. "Where'd your hands go?"

Buggys cheerful smile turned sinister "You know, I found out something about seastone that I don't think 'anyone' else in the world knows. On it's own it just negates devil fruit powers..."

The forearms shot out like missles right into the cuffs. He hissed in pain for the split moment he and the seastone manacles were in contact and his segmented arms became life threatening injurys. The impact coupled with the power negating stone in contact with him sent the vice admiral stumbling.

"...Mixed with a little gunpowder and it makes a bomb that not even a logia monster like you can survive!" He cheered triumphantly, rapidly backpedaling while his remaining upper arms clenched.

Back up on top of the inn, amongst all the crawling and crying men who disembodied hands held the trigger cord of a small cannon, armed with a smiling cannonball.

***BOOM***

***KKKAAA-BBBOOOOOOMMM!***

* * *

End chapter

* * *

What? You thought it was going to be that easy? The dude learned from Roger himself so he'd have to have learned something about combating a superior opponent other than just 'Run away'.

So yeah, Buggys 'Buggy balls' are made using seastone. I had to think 'How do I make this more than just a one sided smack down'. I realised that the only thing that really worked on logia besides haki (a rarity in east blue) was sea stone. Buggy is known to be a compitent chemist with explosives so I thought 'why not'.

**Glimmer wave: **A rapidly expanding blade of light that can cut through virtually anything as cleanly as a kitchen knife cuts vegtables.

I could have had Luffy slice through everyone all the way, but just because he has a tendancy to fight before thinking doesn't mean he always kills them, sometimes he just makes them 'wish' he'd killed them.

Once more I'd like to remind everyone my spell check doesn't work so I had to look over it manually. Criticism is accepted as long as it's constructive. Flames will be used to keep me warm for winter.


	6. Chapter 6

Logia Luffy: Pika edition

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don not own One Piece. One piece is a creation by Eiichiro Oda and distributed by Shonen jump.

* * *

"WWWAAAHHH!"

The clown screamed as he tumbled through the air in five different pieces, shock wave from his explosive lifting him up into the air and into the side a house, fortunately he hit the window and not the wall.

***SMASH***

Remember he can't get cut.

***KRACK!***

"AGH! STUPID WINDOW FRAME!"

He crashed into the empty living room just as the smoke from the bomb rushed in through the broken glass, filling the room with ash and covering it's creator. He lay on the floor for a minute after, whether it was to wait for the smoke to settle or he was just nursing a bruised head wasn't all that important. Just that he shakily stood back up when he was sure it was safe, he flung himself flat against the wall of the living room and edged towards the broken window to peer out at his handiwork.

Where the infamous vice admiral had once stood molten glass where stone cobbles had been pulverised into sand and melted in an instant spattered ground zero. Nearby houses much closer than this one were blasted off the foundations and crushed others like paper.

Buggy begins to chuckle, pulling himself back outside on the stumps of his arms he caught his foot on the frame and smashed into the road chin first, but did not stop laughing. His laugh grew louder and louder the nearer he got to the blast zone, becoming high and insane by the time he was right next to it.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA WAHAHAHAHA ***cough cough*** AHAHAHA ***cough cough*** HAHA!"

He laughed long and loudly, or short and loudly with his lungs filling with ash with every deep breath he took.

"HA HA I DID IT! I KILLED A LOGIA USER! NOW WHOSE COWARD SHANKS? WHOSE A COWARD NOWWWW!"

"Still you."

Buggy had just enough time to turn before a shining fist smashed into his jaw at 186,000 miles a second. Shattering the bones into a million pieces and causing it to tear away from his head, demolishing the building it ploughed through far more destructively than his inventions ever had.

Now he may be immune to the bone shattering and the violent removal of part of his face, but he still felt the blunt force like a speeding train slam into him. He fell to his back grasping where his dimpled chin should be, his unseated tongue lolling about loosely while he rolled from side to side in agony.

Luffy towered over him. Buggy's eyes as wide as he could with the rapid swelling of his face and all at the sight of the boy not only alive but completely unfazed by his ultra destructive sea stone buggy ball.

"Kaaaahhhh! Bleeeeeeee!" He tried to say something, but without his jaw he couldn't communicate any better than a newborn babe.

The teen officer gave the pirate the only smile he ever really gave anyone. "Oh right like I'm gonna tell you." He reached into the same pocket as before and pulled out a familiar set of shackles. He pointed a glowing digit between the clowns eyes. "You might wanna pull yourself together first."

The blacked out pin holes he called peepers bugged out as best they could and his mouth-less face hole let out a sound that was supposed to be a nervous chuckle.

* * *

***Clunk***

***Clunk***

***Clunk***

***Clunk***

"Pick up the pace you filth!" Momonga kicked a pirate in the backside, pulling every man lined to him via chained collar foward violently.

The clown pirates marched up the gang plank of the marine vessel in single file. Each sporting some sort of disfiguring or comical injury. Sometimes both.

Several blocks away, the tip of a chipped sabre peeked out making sure not to reflect a glimmer of sunlight.

"Well?"

"Everyone. They got everyone." The holder of the sword bit into the remains of the scarf covering his mouth to curb his anger.

"Well not everyone." Ear hair man said in a somewhat upbeat tone. Idly scratching behind the ear of the massive lion sitting next to him whining like a puppy, great clumps of it's mane missing. "What do we do now Cabaji."

The second mate looked at the first, considering his question for a second before simply walking past him "I don't know about you but I intend to get off this rock at soon as the heat dies down."

"What! But what about the crew? The captain."

The acrobat kept walking. "If you wan't to get captured that's your problem..." He tossed his broken blade into a nearby gutter, pulling out a much smaller throwing knife he started giving himself a swift haircut "...But I think my talents would be suited to something more than entertaining the inmates."

Mohji the lion tamer watched his long time crew mate walk further into the remaining dark back alleys of the city, and away from any loyalty he had towards Buggy the clown.

He followed after seconds later, dragging the depressed lion with him like a child pulling a stuffed toy across the ground.

* * *

A certain red haired girl, with a stealth that matched a felines had sneakily departed the town. Her boat as far from port as she could land it. No one had really payed attention to the one girl walking away from town while they all rushed into it. She held her hand to her bosom every 10 seconds, subconsciously checking if the map was still there.

She couldn't afford to lose it. It would take another ten years to get as much as this one score would net her.

She didn't know if her village could last that long.

* * *

Buggy grumbled, stomping down the street as quickly as he could trying to force his captor along with him. Anything to get out of the barrage of garbage and rocks being thrown at him by booing townspeople. Spitting violently when a particularly rotten apple splatted aginst his swollen cheeks getting black gunk and mold in his mouth.

"Can we pick this up?" He snarled still 'ptoeeing'.

"I could..." Luffy mused "...Gramps always said never pour salt in a wound."

"Well j..."

"Unless they think they're bad asses. Then I should humiliate them as much as I can."

***splat***

"AAAGGGHHH!" He yelled in frustration. Pulling at his restraints out of sheer anger, not a link strained against the clown meager levels of inhuman strength. None of which meant anything compared to the strength of a Monkey D.

His men saluted while walking onto the ship with Buggy, with the exception of Zoro who was (much to his other superiors aggravation) laying against a mast, mildly glaring at the younger teen at getting any action while he was stuck in the middle of the ocean. Momonga's glare wasn't nearly as intense as the swordsman's but still clear on his face.

"Monkey." He said with a bitter tatse in his mouth. Extending his hand.

Luffy only smiled back, his tone of reply a tad too happy to be entirely honest. "Mongy." He extended his hand to the vice admirals, only to have it swept past and the older man taking the chains of his captive.

"Well well well. Buggy the clown. If this isn't a case of the minnow trying to be a shark I don't know what is. Trying to scrape together some sort of reputation in the weakest oceon in the world besides the shame of 'his' crew are we?".

The clown lunged for him and was knocked back to the floor by a leg to his skull that he hadn't even seen move.

"We have a special place reserved for members of that crew in the down." He turned back to Luffy "And as for you. Sengoku will be informed of the damages you caused to this town."

He dragged the pirate captain below deck, muttering the whole way. Once the telltale 'click' of the doors locking was heard the men and villagers exploded into cheers. The people swarming Luffy, pulled every which way for handshakes, back pats, hugs and more than 1 peck on the cheek from a pretty girl. By the time he managed to pull away and get up onto the ship he was beet red and staring at the ground.

As soon as he was up so was the walk. Momonga having been quite clear to leave as soon as they got him. As the marine vessel pulled away the villagers ran along side it, the swordsman spotting one old man in particular who had no business running like that. A slip f paper that he'd been the mullet man hand him earlier. Luffy was also scanning the crowd, his brow knit.

"Anything wrong Luffy?" He asked. Drawing looks from the few menn not lapping up the admiration as they pulled away.

"No not really." He said "I met someone earlier and I can't see them anywhere."

"A girl?" Zoro said wryly.

"Yeah."

"Oh I see." He grinned. Making Lffys look deepen.

"See what?"

"Nothing." He grinned and walked off to find a comfy place to nap.

"Nooooo. C'mon tell me!" The three year teenager chased after his subordinate to pry information out of him.

* * *

At the same time. In a stretch of oceon no one had sailed into. On an island that many didn't believe existed, and in a field that any artist would sell their soul to capture on canvas a lone figure smiled gently as he lay against the trunk of the picturesque places lone eyesore. An ugly black, twisted tree, it rose up to eclipse even the greatest of giants height and it's almost bear branches spread out half a mile.

The man hummed a tune he didn't care to remember the words to, peering up into the network of gnarled twigs and sparse dusk red leaves. Wordlessly he got up. Stretching his legs a little he jogged lightly til he reach near the end of the hanging branches just as something dropped out of them.

With a swift hand he grabbed for the plummeting object. Holding it up to the light and examining it.

Green, with the shape and leafy scales of a pitaya, and covered in tight swirls.

He admired the new devil fruit for a moment before walking back over to the trunk. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny whistle.

A shrill noice barely on the apex of human hearing went out over the valley. At first nothing, then the sky darkened as a massive...regular sized seagull with a big shadow landed in front of him. He opened up the satchel the bird carried and put the fruit inside.

"North blue. Civilian." He said in a raspy, Scottish voice. The bird nodded in a human fashion an took off. Flying faster than a bullet it was out of sight and heading towards its destination in the blink of an eye.

The man watched after the news coo until it vanished from view. He leane back against the tree and eased himself down the trunk. Peering up into the Branch's were a hundred other accursed fruits slowly ripened.

'I would end the chapter there. But I feel I should show you how Luffy 'really' survived.'

Luffy looked in the direction that Buggy had buggered off in. Not exactly eager to chase after him. You see he knew better than to underestimate someone who had ever sailed in the new world, even if they did leave and come to the East. He also knew that anyone who'd seen what he could do didn't bother to run unless they were A. Capable of using haki or B hiding an ace up their sleeve.

Not wanting to risk anything he decided on another course of action.

He brought his hands together and concentrated. The space in front of him shimmered. Forming a vague outline in the air. Within moments the outline filled in with his features, his colouring and in seconds an exact copy of the vice admiral was standing in front of him.

"Pika Bushin." He whispered. Focusing his thoughts he ordered the exact copy of himself to follow after the pirate while he watched out of sight. Ready to pounce once Bugys trap was sprung.

* * *

End chapter.

Ok before flaming bags start appearing on my doorstep I want to say a few things.

1) The hard light clone is not an exact copy of Luffy. When it stumbled back from contact with sea stone that was only because he willed it to so Buggy would reveal everything to him. Since Luffy controls light manipulating his hard light hologram so to speak is no different than turning himself into light or shooting laser beams.

2) Pika bushin. I know the name sucks, If anyone can think up a better one let me know. Please.

3) The paper the old man (Mayor Boodle) was holding was a form of I.O.U which will allow Boodle to claim funds to repair any damage caused by Luffy directly or indirectly. Momonga carries about 50 of these at any given time just in case Luffy can't reign in his powers.

4) Bad spelling, usual message. Too lazy to give more than a once over.

5) I like pie

6) No I don't

7)Yes I do so shut up!

8) Now that's out of the way.. ...

Next chapter: The lord of light decides to take a little trip to a sticky little town, where the apparent constant pirate attacks don't seem to be bothering the residents that much.


End file.
